What is Delayed Delight and how to do it (Leadership)

This may sound like one of those LinkedIn leadership stories that never actually happened.

But it did, so hear me out!

A lady was running really to a Hack Yourself leadership session I was running with the brilliant team at the General Dental Council.

While we waited, we decided to use the flipchart and let her team list everything they valued about her. We wrote up what she was brilliant at, what they appreciated most and what she excelled at.

Normally when you are late to something it feels awkward. This time there was an outpouring of love when she arrived, as the team read through the feedback.

What is Delayed Delight?

A delegate holding a Hack Yourself book following the leadership training day

Let’s call this Delayed Delight. A simple leadership move that turns an everyday thing into a moment of culture-building. I guess you could file it under ‘culture’ or ‘recognition’ or ‘feedback’. But really, it’s just about choosing to show love when someone least expects it.

It’s leadership that feels human and builds connection.

How to do it

The next time someone’s running seriously late to a team session, try this:

Grab a flipchart or online whiteboard. Ask the team to contribute answers to a few simple prompts:

• What do you value about this person?

• What do they do really well?

• What do they bring to the team?

• What do you appreciate that they might not realise?
  

Keep it simple. Bullet points only.

Then when they arrive:

• Pause the session

• Let someone read out the list. Or invite a couple of people to speak to a few of the points and go deeper.

  
  

Your job as a leader in that moment isn’t to overhype it. It’s to hold the space. Let the message land. Make sure the person feels seen, not spotlighted.

Why it works for leadership

It works because it flips a situation.

It works because appreciation often comes too late, if at all.

It works because it reminds everyone in the room that they matter too. It's also just a really nice thing to be part of.

Leadership is often about the big decisions. But culture lives in the small ones. Try Delayed Delight with your team and see what it opens up.

I'd love to hear how it goes.

To explore the leadership programmes we run, visit our team training page.